wedding guest etiquette tips from a newlywed
I fully believe that I did not understand what it meant to be a great wedding guest until I was a bride planning our own wedding by ourselves.
Here are a few wedding etiquette tips that I can advocate for even more after being a bride:
RSVP early or at least on time: Trust me, you don’t want to be the person the bride or groom are chasing down personally for their RSVP. *side eye*
Tread lightly with plus ones: I know very well from TikTok that plus ones are a hot topic. Regardless of if you are pro-plus one or not, the couple likely put a lot of thought into who receives guests and who does not and there are so many reasons for those choices (venue capacity, budget, etc.) The guest list is not an easy decision! Don’t assume you have a plus one unless listed. If you don’t and decide to ask the couple, my advice would be to tread lightly and be ok with the answer being no. And it’s also ok to not go to a wedding if you don’t feel comfortable without a guest if you aren’t given one. The couple needs to understand not everyone will attend and that’s ok too.
Bring something: Traditionally gifts are common practice, but if the couple requested no gifts or there are other outstanding circumstances – at least bring a card. I can’t tell you how much it meant to us to read beautiful cards the day after our wedding. And since most gifts are going digital, this is a practice that’s becoming less common! Even if you give a gift online, bringing a card in person shows you went the extra mile.
And if you do buy them a gift, pick one from their registry: It takes the guesswork out of choosing a gift for you and the couple gets something they are excited to have! Win-win.
Use the wedding website: The wedding website is your friend! As simple as it may seem, so much time, effort and thought went into the building of that site. Please utilize it to the best of your ability before asking the couple any questions. (Someone on TikTok commented that they complimented the bride on her website – do this if you want to win all the wedding guest brownie points).
Do not give unsolicited opinions or advice: There are so many cooks in the kitchen when planning a wedding it can be extremely overwhelming. As a guest, the best thing you can do is be as supportive and encouraging as possible. Keep your opinions to yourself!
Arrive on time: I never knew how meticulous a wedding timeline could be until I made our own. Weddings are planned down to the minute - so there’s no such thing as “fashionably late” when it comes to a wedding!
Obey the seating chart: This is a rule I’ll admit I broke years ago at one of the first weddings I attended as an adult. What I didn’t realize then as a wedding guest is how integral the seating chart is into the mechanics of the reception. I confused catering handing out meals, made the table settings look cluttered, etc. If there is an issue that requires a change, simply ask or notify the wedding planner, coordinator or a member of the bridal party before doing so. Otherwise, it’s about 40 minutes of your life, so hang tight in your seat and respect the system!
Don’t Irish Goodbye before dinner: Maybe a specific one to us, but we had a few people RSVP that they were attending, but leave before dinner. If you have to leave early/arrive late – just let the couple know so they can plan accordingly and save money on those dinner plates!
I’ll probably continue adding to this list as I think of more! Would love to hear what you think! DM me or comment on my videos @squidwestra :)
